Even if we love someone, we sometimes find ourselves getting into arguments with that person more often. These fights can disrupt our emotional and spiritual lives in some devastating ways. These fights and disagreements are, in the modern world, ways to the road of divorce for many couples. However, all is not lost – you can put the pieces back together if you try. Here are some ways to improve your marriage and, indeed, even how to save a marriage if it’s hit hard times as they all do at one point or another.

(1) Take some time away from each other for a few days. Go away with friends or, at the very least, don’t spend tons of time together. Use this as a cooling off period. You may find that this enforced isolation does the trick – at the very least it will prep you for the next stages of this program.

(2) Write down all your worries, both relating to your own life and to your relationship, and figure out what the top 3 stressors are that are damaging your relationship. For instance, for most couples money is an issue that can grind down the members of a relationship. Make sure both partners do this step.

(3) When you meet back together, compare lists. You might be surprised at the commonalities and differences. The point of this list exercise is to get you talking about real issues. Many couples use fights about small, inconsequential things as ‘proxy wars’ for the issues that really matter. Use this technique to get to the heart of the issues and have adult conversations about them.

(4) Get professional help if you need it. This will be the best way to repair your marriage, as having a neutral and skill intermediary can help you communicate if you have had that issue before.